Where are you From?

Where are you from? No, I mean where are you originally from? or Where are you from from?

As Asian Americans this question comes up surprisingly often. But why? While it is true that Asian Americans may look distinctly different from the stereotypical notion of an American, i.e. a White or Black American, haven't Asian Americans been a large enough presence in the United States to merit the assumption that we too are probably Americans?

This topic, revolving around the idea that Asian Americans remain somehow foreign, has been discussed over and over and over again. It is probably the most common meeting topic of Asian American student organizations around the country and one that, despite being talked about for years and years, remains in need of attention.

Why has this issue remained unresolved?

In this article I hope to give some insight to the problem and then suggest some basic steps we can take to put this whole mess behind us.

First lets look at the problem:

So why does it seem like Asian Americans are always asked about where they are “from” even if everything about them, minus their racial features, screams American?

You in the middle, where are you from?

The obvious answer seems to be that many Americans don't associate Asian with American, after all, we are only about 5% of America's current population. Yet attributing this questioning of origin to population statistics alone would be wrong. Population numbers still doesn't explain why the question is asked in areas with large and influential Asian American populations such as San Francisco and New York City.


Then I read a short article on a Dear Carolyn letter that helped me pick apart this issue.

Recently, an Asian American wrote a Dear Carolyn letter (syndicated columnist for the Washington Post), asking what she should do about constantly getting asked this question. The writer said that the question often offended her. As it felt like she was unfairly being questioned, as if she did not belong or, at the least, was somehow an exotic curiosity.

The Asian American continues by saying that after trying several solutions that were met with some success she has decided to go with "I don't particularly care to satisfy your curiosity right now.", an answer that others felt was potentially rude. The Asian Americans disagrees, citing that people don't ask other personal info upon greeting like age, income, religion or sexual preference.

The columnist replies by suggesting using "it's a long story", and then saying not to get angry because "the question is new to each person who asks it" and "as entitled as you are to your anger, no one person caused it ... meaning it's not fair to make any one person pay."





This is a syndicated columnist, from a respected newspaper who has been giving advice to average Americans for years and it seems sadly clear that she has spent little time pondering the Asian American experience.




1.It isn't a long story. The writer is from her hometown in American, period and that should be understood without a slew of following questions. The origin stories of a son of an Irish-English immigrant or descendant of an African slave are just as long. What makes an Asian American's story longer?

2. The question is new to each person who asks it. The columnist is implicitly implying that this question is a normal, unbiased, one, one that your average good-natured American might ask. But is it an unbiased question? Does it not imply that so many Americans in some way believe Asian Americans are inherently less American, a curiosity? For many Asian Americans the question is one that implicitly questions their American credentials, and in some manner, hurts their sense of belonging or self confidence.

3.Just because one person is not responsible doesn't mean you shouldn't get upset at each person that is somewhat culpable. If one person calls another a slur and truly doesn't know the negative meaning of it, that doesn't mean the victim should let the person have a free pass . A slur is a slur and has an impact no matter what the original intent. It is important that those who commit the folly are held accountable even if that means a simple description of why what he or she has just said or done was offensive.

4.Finally, in the end, it is clear that the columnist is essentially suggesting that the Asian American, though entitled to be angry,  should shrug it off. It is just not a serious issue to the columnist despite the writer's clear discomfort on the subject.


So what can we as Asian Americans gather from this well meaning columnist who should know better.

The heart of the problem seems to lie in the unwavering fact that most Americans consider us more foreign than American. This explains all of the columnists responses.

The Solution:

How do Asian Americans fix all of this?

1.Educate the misinformed
What should  Asian Americans do if they feel like they are being asked because they don't look like "normal Americans"? Often it seems like the most civil solution is to begin a discussion with the asker about how this origins question can be offensive and educate the asker. It seems that most Americans misunderstand the rich and full history of Asians in America.  Asian Americans have been a part of American society for decades now. (Look for data). Railroad workers, farm laborers, small business owners. More and more Asian Americans are the product of immigrants ancestors 2, 3, 4 generations ago. Though these younger generations may continue to practice Asian customs or traditions, many would immediately identify themselves as American. Asian Americans routinely make their presence felt in higher education and the work force but that somehow seems to get lost.

Actually, Asian Americans have been apart of America since the late 1700s...

But is educating every questioner our job? Should we be educating every time? Whose responsibility is it to educate other Americans about this issue?Personally, I don't think it is our job to educate every person who asks us these questions in an insensitive manner. It is tiring and makes me angry that our American-ness seems to always be in question. I think Americans as a whole should know by now and if not, need to educate themselves.

2. Encourage reflection and action
Understanding that change takes time and effort, encourage colleagues, friends and acquaintances to take a part of their day to reflect on the diversity of today's America and the shared journey almost every ethnicity took through abuse, discrimination, and humiliation. The hope, diligence and strength that allowed each group of immigrants to find a better life and (hopefully) has allowed Americans to look at each other equally. Exchange these ideas even if no one has offended you and even if you know few people will take your message to heart. The truth is that this type of encouragement is crucial to changing the general mindset of others. You can go one by one correcting wrong and launching into racial lectures but prevention is better than cure. Laying the issue out in a positive, all inclusive, forgiving and  patriotic light is bound to be more persuasive. Encourage people to read just 1 article, 1 book, attend one event or watch one film (Harold and Kumar go to White Castle is a great laugh that actually addresses many Asian American issues) Then perhaps a colleague who never thought about it will, in one moment, realize he has been treating an Asian acquaintance unfairly, or perhaps that one person that asked you about your origin will recognize his folly and relay the information to his friends. There is really no way to know how effective your efforts will be but that shouldn't dissuade you. Doing something is better than nothing.


3.Give examples
Luckily the image of Asian Americans is changing as the population increases and prominent Asian Americans reach the spotlight in music, dance, television, fashion, sports and social media. Far East Movement, Jeremy Lin, Quest Crew, Jabbawockeez, Ryan Higa of the NigaHiga YouTube channel, Wong Fu of Wong Fu Productions and Freddie Wong of the Freddiew YouTube channel. With some motivation and luck we will start seeing more Asian American politicians representing us as well. The emergence of a wide range of popular and well known Asian American faces is a huge boon to this cause.
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 As for creative solutions to the original question? Ask back where they are from or ask why they are asking. If you are feeling good and have the time, explain the issue with origin questions. Point out that no other ethnic group seems to get these questions.


When the origin question will become something of the past? Who knows.